Friday, September 7, 2007

Terrorist Mastermind, or Presidential Candidate?

Well, a new Osama tape has surfaced. Personally, I think that al-Qaeda is doing what the U.S.S.R. did when Stalin died. The Soviets let on that Stalin was still alive, until a suitable replacement could be found. In their desparation, it looks like they've found a double to be "Osama" (fake beard, anyone?). If these guys weren't dead serious, I would be laughing myself silly.

One segment of the tape purports that he's been following American politics closely. He said that it was our disapproval of the war that led to a Democrat-controlled Congress. Apparently, they were not paying that much attention. Look at how the Democrats won previously Republican seats in Congress; they jockeyed themselves into positions to the political right of the incumbents! The big issue that swung the election was border security, not the war.

Then comes the big sell: "Embrace Islam...There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent.” Hip, hip, horray! Sure, sharia law is replete with honor killings, gang rapes, and is a hell of a lot less tolerant than Judeo-Christian value systems. Look on the bright side, though: you don't have to pay taxes. All he needs to do is throw in universal healthcare, and he could be a Democratic Presidential candidate.

Thank God (not Allah) that I'm an infidel.